They come runnin just as fast as they can...

Friends, Americans, countrymen, lend me your ears.

Okay, paraphrasing from Julius Shakespeare might be a bit overdramatic, but I've been feeling a bit put out lately. Why? Because of a shirt.

Yes, I'm serious. A shirt.

First, let me say that I am not a metro-sexual. Okay, maybe a little, but not completely. I take care of myself, and I use the occasional man product (especially post shave lotion with sunscreen), but I'm not taking a bath with scented oils or getting a manicure and facial at the local spa (although I would like to try this microdermabrasion thing one time).

And when I walk out of the house, I like to look good. No baggy jeans with my crack showing, no grungy shirts, or backwards ball cap (FYI, that's a look for the bar on game day, college frat boys, and teenagers, not adult men to sport on a regular basis. Case closed). Nope, it’s jeans that fit and look good (but they have to be comfortable, too), a nice shirt (a collar is nice, but optional), and shoes (there comes a time when you have to realize that your shoes have exceeded their life expectancy). I live in Florida, so come summer time, the jeans get traded for shorts and the shoes are usually deck shoes or a pair of sandals (I am not a flip-flop sort of guy), but I still walk out of the house looking good.

I think how you look says a lot about you, so I take some pride in looking good when the door closes behind me. When I walk into a room, I don’t want to stand out for the wrong reasons. I suppose that can be considered a bit snobby, but that's how the Gym Dog rolls. Remember that ZZ Topp song, ‘Sharp Dressed Man’? I’m not THAT sharp looking, but I do my best, you know?

So how, you're wondering, does this relate to a shirt? Well, I'm always on the lookout for a good shirt. Pants are pretty easy to find, as are shoes (I think. Maybe I’m just lucky in that department). But shirts aren't as easy as they seem. Is it the right size? What fits better, Large or Extra Large? Is it cheap material, or will it last for a while? Can I wear it all year round, or is it a warm-weather shirt only? All kinds of things make buying a shirt a bit of an ordeal. So when I find a good shirt, I buy it. And the other day, I found a good shirt.

I was at the local mall, and there it was. It was a dark purple shirt by Hugo Boss. Like I said before, I'm not a snob, but I like a good shirt, and this one was right up my alley. Even with the purple color.

Actually, I've been wanting a purple shirt, and this one was perfect. It was a dark, dark purple. That new liquid cotton material that’s all the rage. And it fit nicely (being broad across the shoulders, it’s hard to find a shirt that doesn’t hang and make me look like I’m wearing a gunny sack. What’s that, I should tuck it in? I’ll save that answer for another day), and I looked good (damned good). I had entered Shirt Nirvana. And then I saw it.

No, not another shirt. The price tag. $95.00. Yes, you read that right. NINETY. FIVE. DOLLARS. For a shirt. One dark purple, size XL, Hugo Boss shirt.

I didn't buy it, but that struck a nerve. Is any shirt worth $100? Especially in today's economy when unemployment is headed for 10% and food banks and churches are running out of food due to the increase in people seeking assistance? Even when it’s got a Hugo Boss label on it? My answer is simple. No.

So I'll continue my shirt quest. Maybe I'll get lucky and find a purple shirt that I like, and I'll definitely be back at the mall in the late summer/early fall to see if that shirt is on sale.

Why?

Coz every girl crazy bout a sharp dressed man.