Stop the insanity!

As you can tell by the blog title, and the picture at the top of the page, I'm a gym sort of guy. I love it. I can go into the gym feeling completely unmotivated, but a few minutes into a workout and I'm a changed guy. And when I'm done working out, I always feel pumped up. I'm no musclehead, but I certainly do enjoy that feeling.

Still, there's a few things at the gym that bother me, and generally make the gym experience less than exhilarating.

People who don't put away their weights? Hate 'em. It's no big deal for me to grab a big weight and slide it off the bar, but I've helped a lot of women put weights away that some idiot left behind. And the culprits range from the young to the old, male to female. IT'S NOT YOUR HOUSE, PICK UP AFTER YOURSELF!

Teenage boys? Banish 'em. The majority of them are posers who are more interested in preening in front of the mirror than working out, and they tie up equipment. And why do they dress like they're going to school vice the gym? And do you blame the parents or the kids?

The list of people with poor gym etiquette is something that most gym regulars have, and I could go on about the people who monopolize one piece of equipment, the sweaters who don't wipe, the grunters, the weight droppers, and more. But while these things are irritating, and easily correctable with a word to the facility rep, there's one thing that is both gross AND puzzling. And that, my friends, is the flesh belt.

I know you've seen the flesh belt. Take one woman, add a pair of shorts or workout pants that are a size (at least) too small and a sports bra or a t-shirt meant for a first grader, and voila! The flesh belt. And the flesh belt knows no boundaries!

I've see the belt on young girls, old women, and every age in between. And when I see somebody with a flesh belt, my first instinct is always to sing the Jell-o song at the top of my lungs. You know, "Watch it wiggle, see it jiggle...." Fortunately, I was brought up right, and that coupled with my desire not to get punched in the nose keeps me from singing that catchy little jingle.

It makes me wonder, though, what went thru the person's head when they got dressed. "Workout pants too tight? Check. Sports bra? Check. Flesh belt? Double check." I mean, do these people have no sense of modesty? Do they honestly look in the mirror and think, "Oh yeah, I look goooooood"? Do their husbands or boyfriends tell them, "Ooh, baby, you are looking HOT!" Somehow, I don't think so (although I've been known to be wrong before).

Thus , my friends, I implore you to put an end to this eye trauma that dots the landscape of every fitness facility in the country. If your abs don't look like a six pack, and more closely resemble an inner tube inflated to 6 PSI, then I beg you...I beseech you...I plead with you to do the right thing and lose the flesh ring. Or at least put on a t-shirt. A long one.

You're welcome.